Kismet
by TheLightQueen
Summary: No one was prepared for her return. Not even herself. But when Alex finds herself back in Narnia in the company of her guardian and a new friend, she must find a way to gain back her family's trust while trying to keep her most important secret in the dark. Will she be able to sort things out? Or will she let her dark side take control in order to rescue what she loves the most?
1. Chapter 1: Unprepared

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

"_Nina, wait, stop._" The brunette said mentally once she noticed her guard go into her defensive mode.

"_What's wrong Alex?_" The white tigress said still defensive, but only to protect her mistress and not to attack.

"_Look at their emblems_." She said putting her hands up as she had been instructed by the men and magical creatures that stood all around her. In the meantime, Ninarika noticed the particular feature pointed out by the young woman and relaxed, but only a little bit.

"_They're part of the guard_." Alexandra commented, much too calm for the situation they found themselves in.

"_Yeah, I noticed...But who's guard?_" The tigress asked, eyeing each individual who was present, seizing the threat they all represented.

"_Only one way to know..._" The brunette lowered her hands, making the men surrounding them return to their defensive positions. "I am not looking forward damaging any of you, and neither is my friend Ninarika, not unless it's necessary." She said, but none of the men backed down. They were trained for these situations. "I would very much like to know who do you specifically answer to, as I've previously seen the emblem with the Great Lion on your shields and horses, which leads me to believe you are part of the royal guard." She said out loud.

"Who are you? And how do you know so much woman?" A minotaur growled at her.

"I believe it is very rude to simply ignore my question sir, so here's what we can do: you take me to your master and I tell you my name." She finished off as diplomatically as she could. She knew they'd have to take them both to their 'lord' eventually, as the monarchs were the only ones that could interrogate the foreigners in Narnia. She was just giving them what they wanted to know...Sort of.

"Very well, I'm guessing you wouldn't mind being escorted there my lady, we're not very far off anyway." Said one of the humans among the guards. As much as he tried to stop himself from doing so, he couldn't stop staring at the young maiden intently. The brunette was a true beauty, apart from her hair color and length, her eyes were simply stunning, an indescribable color between blue and lilac. And she was definitely wearing strange clothes, not traditional from any reigns he knew about. But that wasn't what attracted the guard at all.

It was how she looked perfectly at ease, even with swords and arrows pointing at her. How she spoke, her words dripping diplomacy, and in the presence of magical creatures in general. It was just as if she belonged in there, even though she didn't look the part. She even seemed kind of...Familiar. As if he had seen her somewhere before, although he had to admit that those eyes would be way to stunning to ever forget.

"Of course not, as long as I get to have my friend by my side, I don't mind who walks behind or in front of me, lord...?"

"Knight Rossendal." He finished for her.

"Oh, alright Knight Rossendal, let's go." The girl urged them to start walking.

"But before...You've told us the name of your companion, but what yours may be my lady?"

Alexandra looked briefly at Ninarika, knowing that whoever was told (because that's what they wanted her name for, to give a heads up to the person that was leading them that they were coming) wouldn't know her by the name she was going to give away.

"I'm Kristina, Kristina Boyd." She said in the same tone she had used with him the entire time they held the conversation: cool and collected. Giving away no fear or uncertainty whatsoever.

"Very well Lady Kristina Boyd, this way please..."

As the whole group walked through the forest, towards what Ninarika thought was the clearing where they probably had their camp set up; both, the girl and the tigress were racking their brains for a plan, as the calm was only on the outside, a façade. After all, they weren't entirely sure of what they had come back to.

Narnia was still as breathtaking as Alex remembered, the sun shining brightly in the vast, blue sky. The grass always green and in some places taller than in others. The trees full of life and colors. The animals, both, talking and savage, roaming around the forest. And the wind, the soft wind that blew, messing up her hair and cooling her neck and arms, bringing a perfect contrast from the heat of mid afternoon.

In her fancy dress and high heels it was a tough walk, that much was true. But she didn't complain once, to be honest, she was too focused to even be bothered with the issue. The formal ball she was supposed to be in at that very moment was long forgotten.

Finally they reached the camp that was indeed in the middle of a clearing, and it was much bigger than they both expected. Taking a deep breath, they kept walking towards the biggest tent with the guards surrounding them completely, almost as if they weren't meant to be seen yet...And maybe they weren't. Not until questioned by whoever was running the place, or until he or she decided that it was alright to have them as guests in their land.

'_Ha!'_ Alexandra thought. '_Aren't they in for quite the surprise.'_

Knight Rossendal went inside first, their guess: to announce their arrival. After a few minutes, he re-opened the tent's fabric door and signaled them that it was okay for them to go inside...And so the whole party did, making Ninarika roll her eyes.

Yes, they were both lethal if they wanted to...But they didn't know that yet.

Alexandra ran out of breath as she saw who was in charge of the troops, she even chastised herself for not thinking with more severity that of course that it would be him. Worried for the first time since they had realized they were back in Narnia on her appearance.

Was her dress dirty? Crinkled? Her make up still decent? Her hair in its place? So many things ran through Alex's mind at that point, most of them being certainly pointless, at some point quite ridiculous and way too vain for her usual train of thoughts.

On the other hand, the young King was finishing a manuscript, so Knight Rossendal whispered in Alexandra's ear,

"I'm going to introduce you now, after I say your name you bow slightly for the King." He explained, but his words fell into deaf ears, as Alexandra couldn't think, she was in panic mode. The girl had been fearing this for so long that now that it was happening she didn't know how to react. Meanwhile, the tigress was less shocked than the girl, but still assessing the possible outcomes of the situation at hand. Her mind was wired to protect Alex at all times, and after not having done so for so long, she felt that she needed to be extra careful and alert.

"Your Majesty, this is lady Kristina Boyd and her companion..." But he stopped talking when he noticed that the girl didn't have the intentions to bow, and neither did the tigress.

Thanks to the interruption, the raven haired King stopped his work and after setting the quill down, he looked up.

King Edmund the Just was certainly not prepared that day for what happened. Edmund Pevensie, the boy from England, wasn't either.

"Alexandra?"

"Your majesty." She nodded her head in recognition of his title.


	2. Chapter 2: Slow Thinking & Realizations

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

"Alexandra?"

"Your majesty." She nodded her head in recognition of his title.

To Knight Rossendal the room seemed frozen for a few moments. The King looked at the newcomer with such a strong mix of emotions written in his eyes that he had never witnessed before. He had never seen the Just King show that much emotion, period. He was also recognized for being a quick thinker and a fine diplomat, it was very rare, some would say impossible, to see him speechless. Nothing ever caught him off guard...that was until that strange woman had showed up that afternoon. And focusing his attention on her, he managed to notice that she looked at him intently too, as if wanting to give him the most important message ever without words.

The Knight couldn't help himself but wonder how they knew each other, because as far as he knew, King Edmund had had many women after him for years, hoping to become the next Queen of Narnia, but none of them had succeeded. He didn't even glance in their direction. But they were so desperate for power that many had decided to simply ignore the fact that the king was already married, even if she was not around anymore, it was obvious she still held the heart of the king. That's why he believed it was prohibited to speak about the sixth ruler of the narnian land.

It was a wound that was still fresh.

Edmund was finally able to speak again, even if he hadn't found the strength to stand up from his chair yet.

"Is it really you?" He asked the dumbest question (in accordance to Alex) that he could have thought of, and he was a smart man.

"I don't know. You tell me?" She said finally breaking his stare and looking around the tent, moving slightly to the right, her back facing the king. There was ink, quills and papers scattered all around. '_Typical Ed_.' Alex thought, a small smile slipping from her lips.

Something drove the king to close the distance between the two of them and finally get those answers he had spent several sleepless nights trying to guess. But as soon as he started to move towards the girl, someone jumped in the empty space between them two.

Ninarika wagged her tail slowly and looked at Edmund as if daring him to keep moving.

"Your majesty." She bowed slightly and kept her protective position in front of Alex, who had turned around by now and looked at the scene with amusement in her eyes as she lay one hand on the tigress soft fur.

"_Of course it's you then_. Hello Ninarika." Edmund rolled his eyes but nodded towards the tigress, acknowledging her role as Alexandra's personal guard.

The fact that King Edmund knew the name of the tigress before he had time to introduce her confirmed Knight Rossendal's suspicion that they all knew each other. But apparently Edmund wasn't the only slow thinker that day, because until now he hadn't given much thought to the fact that the King called the woman a different name than the one she had given him before.

"Ed" She called him and even though it doesn't sound very manly, he could have fainted right there and then. He was starting to believe that he'd never hear her say his name again.

"Y-yes?" He stuttered. All the King's followers were astonished. It was the first time he stuttered like that for a woman.

"The audience makes me kind of uncomfortable...All the practice of discussing my personal affairs in front of other people seems to be lost. I'm sorry." She looked around apologetically to all who had been their escorts.

"Oh...Right. Please, return to your duties." He commanded with a short nod of his head, only looking away from her for a couple seconds.

"Your majesty." Knight Rossendal caught his attention.

"You can leave too Ben. Send someone to the palace to inform that we're coming home this evening." He tried to dismiss him, but the rules said that at least one guard was to stay by the King at all times.

"But sir...They're strangers, It's uncertain if they represent a threat. I cannot leave you alone." He said nobly, making the tigress almost roll her eyes. She had always thought that human guards were many times overdramatic.

Alexandra just smiled softly at him.

"Believe me Ben, there is no-" He was interrupted mid sentence.

"I can assure you I don't want to harm King Edmund, and even if I did have those intentions, he is an unbelievably talented swordsman, _I would know_."

'_But how_?' He thought and Edmund could easily read in his eyes the confusion. Benjamin was one of his best men, humans at least. But sometimes he didn't catch the details fast enough, or he focused too much on them and too little in the bigger picture.

"Ben, I would like to introduce you to Queen Alexandra, the Light of Narnia and her guardian, Ninarika...Alexandra, this is Knight Benjamin Rossendal."

It took Ben about a minute to really understand who was standing before him. He finally got why she looked so familiar. She was the sixth and missing queen of Narnia.

"Your majesty." He bowed respectfully and she recognized him with a slight bow of her head too.

"Well met, Knight Rossendal." She said naturally.

But if the beautiful woman who had mysteriously appeared in the woods was truly the Light Queen, then that meant that...

"_She's your wife too_." He said without thinking and then paled when he saw the solemn face of the Just King and the slight grimace from the Queen, even though she never lost the small smile that graced her features.

"Well well, it looks like someone did his homework!" She said jokingly, dismissing the statement, or at least trying to.

"Excuse me." The embarrassed knight said and after bowing to both of them, he left the tent, red as a tomato.

"He's nice." The Queen commented, not really wanting to discuss anything serious yet. She had yet to get used to the presence of the King near her, his stare could melt her if he looked at her for too long and she didn't even want to think about his voice, his soft but firm and velvety voice.

"I don't think it's fair." He ignored her comment by making a statement of his own.

"What don't you see as fair?" She asked quite confused by his outburst.

"All my guard is gone." He simply said and her mouth opened in a tiny 'o', that before she turned down to look at Ninarika, who had her teeth exposed now.

"Nice try." She said and Alexandra sighed, knowing that as much as she hated to admit it, he was right. It wasn't fair.

"Nina, it's okay." Alex said laying a hand on her upper back and stroking it softly. '_You'll know if I need you_.' She spoke mentally to the tigress, who left the tent a couple of seconds later, the Just King not being one of her favorite people at the moment.

Finally, it was only the two of them.


	3. Chapter 3: First Attempt Gone Wrong

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

It was awkward to say the least.

None of them expected their reunion after so many years to be that uncomfortable. Alexandra expected more bravery on her part, explaining to him everything that had happened, it was the least she could do. And in return, receiving a lot of screams and snarky remarks from him. Instead she was analyzing the pros and cons of telling the truth, and getting to the conclusion that she could not face the hate yet, not if it came from Edmund.

On the other hand, the Just King pictured their reunion as Alexandra running into his arms with tears in her eyes, he had so many times imagined how embracing her again would feel like, how she would smell and her warmth. But he was so focused on that movie like daydream that he had forgotten that one of the reasons why Alex had caught his attention, and later on his heart, was because her personality wasn't like all the others.

His wife wasn't the kind of woman to cry about everything and throw herself into his arms when she had a problem. No, she wasn't cliché. She was a fighter.

It seemed that both of them had lost the words they had rehearsed in their heads so many times. It was as if none of them were worth breaking the silence that had settled inside that tent. Silently wondering if the other would have the guts to talk first.

Alexandra decided to be the first one to break the ice with one of her jokes, but just as she opened her mouth to talk, he did.

"You are not wearing your ring." He said with his stare focused directly on her hands. Alex hid them behind her back, kind of ashamed, as when she looked at left hand, his silver wedding band rested peacefully on his ring finger.

"I'm sorry." She said lowering her stare.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because I'm not wearing the-"

"No, why aren't you wearing it?" He clarified.

"Oh..." She said and after thinking about it for a few minutes, she remembered where she had placed it. "I lent it to someone. I was supposed to get it back that same night but then I got transported here."

"So you lost it." Edmund stated. And Alex was alarmed instantly by his change of voice. He was definitely upset.

"Not quite. I know where it is." She tried to reason with him

"But you don't have it." He said, making the queen frown.

"No, at the moment I do not."

"_Perfect_." He said taking his off and placing it on the table to his side, making her open her mouth in an 'o' shape.

"That was rude." She said crossing her arms and resting most of her weight on her right leg, suddenly, her feet were killing her.

"No. Don't you dare." He pointed a finger at her, making her even more upset.

"It was." She insisted defiantly.

He wanted to pick a fight? She would give him one.

"No. What was extremely disappointing and inappropriate was the fact that you not only took off your wedding ring, but lent it to a stranger for him or her to do Aslan knows what with it. You dishonored this marriage." He gave his argument, his voice not rising once, but with resentment dripping from his words.

That was a low blow.

Alex wasn't one to hit without a reason, but her hand felt heavy with the desire to slap Edmund as hard as she could.

"You know _nothing_." She said icily and turned around, ready to leave the tent.

"Where do you think you're going?" He said and without looking Alex knew that he had moved near her.

"Dare to lay a hand on me King Edmund and I will have you thrown across the room." Alexandra threatened, surprising the Just King.

He ran a hand through his hair, thankful that he wasn't wearing his crown at the moment. He didn't want to be a king in that space of time, he wanted to be the man she had married years ago. He wanted to know what had happened. What had changed. And most importantly: Why. He deserved to know! But also, he knew that by treating her roughly he would get absolutely nothing out of her.

"I'm sorry Alex, I just...I was starting to lose faith in seeing you again. It's a surprise I don't know how to handle. A good one." He said in hopes to get her temper to subside. He knew she was as stubborn as him.

"I present you my apologies too King Edmund, as I'm having a hard time handling the situation too. I do not think that either of us is ready to discuss any important issues yet, we are clearly emotionally unstable at the moment. Maybe after we get to the palace and meet up with the other monarchs." She said diplomatically.

Edmund sighed. She was still very upset.

Suddenly, the tent was opened roughly and in came Ninarika and Knight Rossendal.

"Your majesties...You'll want to see this." The human said gravely.

They were both riled up by that first attempt of the conversation they were both, expecting and dreading. But it was time to act as monarchs, not as lovers. So they put aside their differences and walked outside to face whatever the problem was.


	4. Chapter 4: Dark Clouds & Family Issues

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

Alexandra loved the narnian weather, it was pretty much always sunny, as if it was summer all the time. Sure there was rain from time to time, the rivers and lakes needed it to survive and the farmers were grateful for it. Unlike the depressing city of London, where it was always either rainy or gloomy.

Some people found that weather fantastic, Alex wasn't one of them. That's how she knew there was something definitely wrong when they walked out of the tent and the sun wasn't visible anymore, but thick, dark clouds loomed over them.

"What's happened?" King Edmund inquired to the knight.

"We are not sure yet sir. It was a beautiful day until a few moments ago, it's almost as if the clouds swallowed all the light in the sky." He said in a concerned voice.

Ninarika and Alexandra just looked at each other knowingly. Edmund obviously noticed.

"_Of course this_ _would happen with us not being back even a whole day."_ Alexandra thought and her guardian just smiled grimly.

"_Are you really that surprised?" _The tigress asked her mistress.

She truly wasn't. When she found herself once again in Narnia, she knew that at some point she would get to see not only the part of her family that she had grown to love so deeply, but the part that didn't quite love her that much anymore.

"Why do I have the feeling that you know what this is all about?" Edmund stood beside her, also watching the sky with his brow furrowed.

"Maybe because I'm so wise, have an answer for almost everything, and you are fully aware of that?" She tried to joke but he only shook his head with a small smile, one that faded once he realized how upset he was with her.

"I'm being serious. Do you know what's happening?"

"Since when do you rely on others to find out the things that you want to know?" She asked, trying to avoid telling him her theory of what might had been happening.

Even though she was an official part of the Pevensie family now (or at least she hoped she was), when it came to dealing with her own family, she much rather do it on her own than having many people concerned with their problems. This applied even when it came to Edmund himself. Alexandra was protective of her family, all of it.

"I'm bound to find out either way, whether you tell me or not. The clouds are getting thicker and darker, so I'm guessing that whatever is going to happen, it'll happen soon." He tried to reason with her. Still, Alex wasn't too sure of how he'd take it, but after receiving a small nudge on her leg from her best friend, she knew it was time to tell him, even though she was praying for it not to be true.

"I think it's Nathan." She blurted out in a whisper, looking up again in concern; the sky was almost black.

"That's impossible." He said almost automatically after the words were registered in his brain. "We haven't seen him after you left. It's as if he vanished into thin air."

"No." Alexandra finally understood. "He stopped showing up because he couldn't feel my presence anymore."

"What?" Edmund said confused.

Alexandra finally looked at him in the eyes.

"Our last meeting wasn't very pleasant, you know that much, right?" She asked. He nodded. "Well, every time he returned to visit me after he left the palace was to try to convince me of the same thing. And every single time, I turned him down. Made my own offer and was likewise refused. The last time we saw each other he got pissed because I said no again, I had more reasons than ever to refuse. The point is, that now that I'm back, he knows it. And I think he's coming to see me." She finished her explanation.

A grey mist started to spread around the clearing quickly, making it difficult to see for a few moments, and just like that, when only a few blinks had happened, he was finally there, and the mist surrounding the two monarchs and the knight and protector was dissipated, while all the other man and creatures grunted as they were blind and defenseless.

"Well well well, look who has made a fantastic return. Nice dress by the way." Nathan Hayward said theatrically, making Alexandra roll her eyes.

"Wouldn't you know?" She retorted while crossing her arms.

Nathan laughed.

"Oh sissy, you know me well." He said. "How'd you like your trip back?"

"Why don't you ask her?" She hissed.

Ninarika growled at him, her teeth showing fully.

"Kris please, I even brought you back in style!" He seemed even offended at their attitude, which only made Alexandra's wishes to smack him even stronger.

"Seriously Nate, what do you want from me? Why did you bring me back?" She said annoyed, she was tired and not very patient after the talk with Edmund.

"You know exactly why Alexandra. Don't play dumb with me. Maybe you can fool that husband of yours, I mean, you managed pretty well last time, but not me." He snickered and the queen's temper was flaring, her hands already in fists. "Plus, you know that five years ago was the moment when the world stopped revolving around you darling. You know very well that this isn't about you at all."

She stopped an involuntary gasp to fall from her lips just in time.

"Piss off Nathan." Alexandra warned, quite nervous about him talking so freely about her most well-kept secret.

"I will leave my sister, as now is not the time to discuss all the affairs we ought to…Just wanted to say a quick hello and let you know that I'm glad you're back home, where you belong." He smirked at her deviously one last time and vanished.

'_This day couldn't get any_ _longer'_ Alex thought to herself as all the mist and clouds quickly went away and the sun reappeared, although lower in the sky. She could bet that it wasn't even six o'clock in the afternoon and she already felt like shutting off for the rest of the day.

"Sir," Knight Rossendal, whose presence alongside everyone else's Alex had totally forgotten, called out for Edmund's attention. "I think it would be best if we leave for the palace as soon as possible."

The Just King just stared at Alexandra seriously, and she didn't dare to look back at him because he had always had the talent to read her like an open book, and if she allowed him to do that after she was left so vulnerable after the conversation that had just taken place, it would all blow up in her face.

"Well met Benjamin, get horses ready for me and Queen Alexandra, get the rest of the camp cleared out and let's go." He turned around and without another word walked inside his tent, leaving both, Alex and Nina surprised at his behavior.

"_Do you think that he changed while we were gone? I mean, he would have at least yelled a little by now, but he said absolutely nothing_" Ninarika thought out to her friend.

Alexandra sighed.

"_Absolutely not. He's just organizing his thoughts, he's Edmund for Pete's sake! I'd rather have him yell at me now. When he's silent it means he's thinking…And he's a fast and brilliant thinker, it's more than clear that he can be deadly." _

And it was true, Edmund had so much to decipher yet, he couldn't allow himself to get distracted bickering with Alexandra. The question she had asked him had really gotten to him, because it was true. He never had to depend on someone else to get the answers he wanted, or in this case, needed.

If Alex didn't want to talk right now, fine. He would gather all the facts that he could and then he would start putting together the huge puzzle that was the disappearance of his wife by himself.

And the first set of clues fell on the encounter he had just witnessed.


	5. Chapter 5: Keeping a Façade?

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

The camp was all packed and ready to go within twenty minutes. Queen Alexandra, not so much. She was sitting under a majestic tree arguing with her protector.

"Come on Alex, you're being ridiculous." Ninarika tried to reason with her mistress.

"But I'm not Nina, it's a very viable possibility. You've seen how _he_, the one that was supposed to 'love' me the most, has treated me. Who knows what the others might do! Doesn't running away sound appealing to you?" Alexandra was doing her best in convincing her best friend to flee again.

"No. We are not doing this again. You'll only end up hurting all of them and yourself again, and this time without a good reason! I believe that enough damage has been done already, and that it needs to be fixed." The tigress said and Alex, deep inside of her, knew that she was completely right.

The queen sighed.

"Alright, but if they want to have my head you'll die defending me." She said half joking, half serious.

"As if I wouldn't." Nina rolled her eyes. "Plus, the worst they can do is offer you a warm bed, a fresh change of clothes and food. Maybe a bunch of hugs that you my friend, desperately need. Oh don't they sound like terrible monsters?" The guardian said sarcastically, making Alexandra smile the first true smile since she had woken up that morning.

"You're a joke." Alexandra shook her head, the smile lingering on her lips.

Then someone cleared their throat, making the queen tense and the guardian alert. They were both so relaxed that they had missed whoever had decided to approach.

"Eh…I'm sorry for interrupting. Your majesty, lady Ninarika, his majesty is waiting for you to set off."

"_He can wait a little longer_." Alexandra quickly thought, but then shook her head and smiled at the shy soldier. "Thank you very much, we'll be on our way now." She said in a soft voice and the poor soldier's cheeks turned bright pink as he bowed quickly and walked back towards the rest of the group.

"Still as charming _your majesty_." Ninarika snickered.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Not as much as you…_Lady Ninarika._" The tigress shivered from discomfort.

"_Not funny_." She thought.

"_Nope. Hilarious_." Alexandra smiled once again. They were almost in the middle of the clearing, where everyone was indeed waiting.

Edmund had watched Alex as she sat under a tree not too far away from the camp, she was conversing with Nina, who was positioned over a rock, her tail moving back and forth slowly.

Since her arrival he constantly thought that she indisputably looked marvelous in that dress, even though it was kind of dirty on the bottom thanks to all the grass and dirt she must had stepped on and definitely hugged all her curves in the right places, leaving too little not only to his imagination, but the other's too.

He frowned at that particular thought…Did she not realize how beautiful she was?

The queen's body language gave nothing from their conversation away, she looked calm and collected, but then again, she had looked that way since she had returned.

Now that the king thought about it, she hadn't reacted half as bad as when she had lived there, she had always kept her temper under her control, even with Nathan taunting her. She was working so hard to keep a façade.

"_But why_?" He wondered to himself.

He decided on trying to read her lips, maybe her conversation would give something away. But before he could even concentrate on the task, she smiled. And somehow, that smile meant everything. And at the same time, it made him envious that she wasn't smiling for him.

Edmund Pevensie wasn't a soft guy. Life had made him a little rough around the edges, closed off to himself most of the time, the limits of his trust almost always being his family. But that was until he met Alex.

Even though she was as broken as him when he first visited Narnia, maybe even a bit more, she was something else. As a king he was forced to be polite with the ladies that were part of the court (they were a royal pain in the ass, yes, but he had no other choice), but as a man, he was tired of all the brainless women that wished to become the next 'Queen of Narnia'.

He couldn't fathom the thought of any of them being his wife. Too superficial for that. He wanted someone who he could have long conversations with, and not about gossip or dresses, but about life itself, maybe even history. He needed someone who could think by herself, not use him as her brain.

And somehow, he managed to find all that in Alex Hayward.

She was not only beautiful on the outside, but also a great thinker and a very sweet girl, even if she worked hard to hide it. And even if all that was true and had definitely worked in her favor to get Edmund's attention, her most striking feature were definitely her wits and the fact that she never treated anyone with respect until they proved themselves worthy of it. Not even him.

He smiled slightly at the memory of how the pair had first met.


	6. Chapter 6: I Can Only Wonder Why

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

_*Five years earlier…*_

Alexandra groaned when she tried to open her eyes and had to close them immediately due to the brightness that struck her, she had a pounding headache that had definitely worsened with that. She also scrunched up her face when she felt her sore back and something tickling her neck and arms. Almost as if she was laying on grass.

The brunette girl opened her fisted hands and moved them slightly around, finding that indeed, she was laying on a patch of land covered in grass.

"_Of course my back's hurting then, probably fell asleep in the backyard again_." She thought and came to the conclusion that if she was sleeping in her backyard, then her brother must have been too.

"Um...Nate? Why did we sleep in the backyard? And what's with the headache?" She asked while massaging her scalp, wondering if they had had one too many drinks again, and mildly stretching, immediately noticing she was still in last night's dress.

But when she didn't get an answer, she frowned and decided to open her eyes once more, to see if her brother had had the guts to actually abandon her out there.

At first it was too bright, but when Alexandra was capable of focusing her eyes, she was very much surprised to be met with a pointy and thin blade of metal pointed straight to her chin.

She didn't have to move her stare very much to see who was holding the sword so close to her, and after, she managed to see a few men dressed in medieval kind of armors holding her brother back in a similar way.

"Rise." The voice of the guy holding the sword to her throat spoke.

He had jet black hair with a silver crown positioned on top of it and fair skin, brown eyes and a few freckles here and there, and from Alexandra's perspective, he was very tall and muscular.

"_Handsome_" She thought.

"Are you deaf? Rise!" He demanded once again, this time with a harsh voice, and she felt angry and disappointed for some reason.

_"No looks are worth it if personality fails_" She scolded herself before actually realizing that he was waiting for her to move.

"I will as soon as you get that awful thing away from my face." Alexandra said and crossed her arms, catching the guy by surprise, though he did move the sword so she could stand.

Edmund thought she was beautiful, even with her brown hair all over the place and her strange choice of clothes. Her voice was also very soft, he noticed. But what left him breathless for a few moments were her eyes. Unfortunately, he'd had his fair share of bad experiences with beautiful women who turned out to be extremely wicked in the past, so he couldn't assume anything. He had to act like the king he was.

_"Oh wonderful, I knew I should've changed into my flats as soon as I had the chance."_ Alex sighed internally when she noticed how hard was to stand in uneven ground with heels.

Once she was on her feet, the sword returned to be too close to her throat.

"Oh _come on! Really_?" She scoffed, but this time, the black haired boy didn't move an inch.

"Who are you?" He asked her while studying every centimeter of her face, that now held a very annoyed expression.

"Why are you holding my brother against his will?" She ignored his words while looking at Nate, who had his eyes glued to her, full of worry.

"Answer my question." The boy demanded.

"Let him go." She returned the tone he had used.

"Who do you think you are to demand anything?" He asked with a sour and slightly louder tone. Edmund wasn't very patient, and never had liked to be defied.

"Who do you think you are to hold us both against our will? And for anything that's holy, put that thing down!" She exclaimed.

Alexandra was never one to let herself being walked all over and she wasn't about to start. Plus, she wasn't comfortable with the proximity of the blade.

"I am King Edmund, the Just of Narnia!" He exclaimed with pride and she instantly felt even more confused than before, as she had never heard from such a place.

"And where _on earth_ is that exactly?" She asked with a frown on her face.

He smirked at her.

"It's not on earth, of course. Now I demand to know your name and where you come from." He said nonchalant, as if he had done the same thing a thousand times before.

She wanted to keep asking him to tell his guards (or whatever they were) to leave Nate alone, but she decided not to push her luck.

"I'm Alexandra Hayward, and that's my brother, Nathan. We're from England." She said in a bored tone, looking around her, to find that they were surrounded by tall trees of various kinds and green grass everywhere, with blooming flowers here and there. It was a breathtaking place. "Where are we now?" She wondered out loud.

"Well, obviously, you're in Narnia. The question is: why?" He said putting his sword away and turning around to walk away from her and towards a horse. "Come on, let's go." He stated simply as he mounted with grace and ease.

"Go?" Alex frowned. "Go where?"

"To the palace of course, I need you both to meet my siblings."

"Ah, of course, palace, forgot the whole King thing...aren't you a little _young_ to be King anyways?" Alexandra ignored the rest of his words and let her curiosity get the best of her.

"You ask way too many questions, now let's go." He said stretching his hand to help her into his horse, but she crossed her arms and took a step back.

"Look, you're a complete stranger who first, claims to be King of some land or country that I've never heard of which apparently isn't even on earth, second, is holding my brother against his will and now wants me to go on a horse with him to his palace? Dude come on! Just let us go and we'll just go home." She said not feeling in the mood for the whole thing, she was too tired to even argue with the things he had said, as they lacked logic for sure.

"And how _exactly _are you planning to return?" He crossed his arms and smirked at her and did she want to smack that smile off his face.

Alexandra rolled her eyes.

"I don't know, we can catch a plane? Train? Maybe a car? We'll manage." She said shrugging as she remained with her arms crossed.

Now it was the king's turn to roll his eyes.

"I hate to break it to you, but we have none of those things in here, so stop complaining and get on the horse, we're wasting time and I'm supposed to be back by lunch time." He said and she hated the bossy tone he had used, so she took another step backwards.

"Make me." She challenged and he just raised his eyebrows, just before he furrowed them, clearly not used to people defying him.

"I've asked nicely twice now, Alexandra, I will another time and then things might get rough." He said, trying to control his annoyance.

"Kris, I think it's best if we go with him, maybe they can help us get home." Nathan's voice surprised Alex and she turned around to see him still in the same position that he had been a few moments ago, only a little paler.

"Fine." She turned to a smirky Edmund, and once again felt the strong need to punch him. "_But_…no more threatening with weapons."

King Edmund only seemed to smile wider while helping her into his horse, when they were both ready, he kicked his horse into a trot and turned his head slightly around.

"See you back in the castle as soon as possible, make sure he's well watched over." He shouted to one of the guards who simply nodded in agreement and focused back his attention on Nathan.

"Hey! What about no weapons?" Alex asked with a frown, watching as her brother was being walked over to another horse from afar, still with a sword pointed at his back.

"I thought you were smart enough to understand that you're in no position to demand anything." He said and although he wasn't looking at her, she could feel the smirk on his voice, and that made her blood boil. "Now hold on tight, otherwise, you'll fall off the horse."

"Jerk." Alex whispered under her breath, but considering there was basically no space between her and the King, he heard her.

"I've been called worse." He simply said, not showing that her comment actually bothered him to some extent.

"Gee, I wonder why that would be." She rolled her eyes and he clenched his fists around the reins


	7. Chapter 7: Opaque Light?

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

"Your majesty?" Ariston, one of the only minotaurs in the group finally managed to catch Edmund's attention.

"Yes?" He asked, still kind of high on the past's memories.

"We're close. Probably arriving in ten to fifteen minutes to the gates of Cair Paravel." The soldier informed the king.

"Thank you." He simply answered and let his horse slow down a little, giving Alexandra's time to catch up.

At first Edmund found weird that Alex wasn't the one in the lead of the group, she and Nina both had a brilliant memory. He was almost certain they could have guided them perfectly. There was that, and also the fact that Alexandra loved horseback riding very much, in all of her time in Narnia, she'd probably rode at least once every day. But later on, the Just King understood the exact reason why she wasn't leading: because he was. And she was trying her best to avoid him.

"…_And he had to ruin it." _The queen thought to herself as she saw Edmund's horse speed decrease. She had been really trying to avoid him, as she wasn't ready for another fight. But something that undeniably bothered her was how he seemed so calm all the time, it almost didn't seem like himself.

She thought it wasn't fair that she had to be careful all the time on the things she said or did because of the reactions he would have or the slips of information she might commit, while he could be free to say and do as he pleased, not really having anything to hide.

"_It's because he doesn't. You do. Now cut him so slack_." Ninarika chastised her.

"_Wow, really? Coming from you?_" Alexandra rolled her eyes but quickly composed as her horse was nearly next to his.

The queen's heart sped up as they were finally side by side. But words were still lacking.

"We're almost there." He simply repeated the information that had been given to him a few moments ago.

"Oh…Alright. Thank you for letting me know." She felt extremely awkward as he only nodded and the silence fell on them like a curse.

Alexandra yearned to hear his voice, that voice she had missed so much, she was dying to have one those never ending talks about basically everything that they had until very late hours of the night. Even if it was only one more. She had missed his sarcasm so much, his intelligence and quick reasoning.

She had missed him so much, period. The thing was that in all of those years they spent apart, she died a little bit more inside every time she remembered him, every time she allowed herself to miss him. So she banned all of those feelings, buried them deep down inside her head, for the sake of those who depended on her.

Alexandra had become so good at closing herself when romance came around in order to avoid reopening the biggest wound in her heart, that it was hard for her to just knock down all those walls at once. That's what she wanted to explain to him, that's exactly what she _wished_ she could explain to him.

"They are all going to be ecstatic when they see you." He surprised her by talking. Or well, by reassuring her. Somehow, he knew she was anxious.

"How'd you…?" She couldn't even finish when he had interrupted her.

"You're a queen Alexandra. You don't look down very often, don't have many reasons to. Plus, you're holding into those reins for dear life." Edmund explained as if it was very simple and even a child could see it.

"Thank you anyway." She said with a half-smile and she sincerely meant it this time, it meant so much to her that even if he wasn't sure on who she was anymore, who had come back to him, he still treated her with such niceness and tenderness…With love.

A love she _didn't_ deserve.

Alexandra immediately looked away and seconds later, looked down. Edmund just frowned in confusion.

He wished so many times he could just read her mind, to know what she was thinking would ease his worries at least a little bit.

"_Or maybe not_." He thought to himself, showing a half-smile, knowing perfectly that Alexandra's brain went at least ten time faster than anyone he knew in Narnia and its neighboring countries. Even more than Lucy's when she got excited. And boy was that fast. He'd probably only get dizzy and even more confused.

Nevertheless, the Alex he knew was confident on herself, on her beliefs, sometimes even more than she should be, but still. She always irradiated this special kind of light (ironically) her presence always seemed to be strong but not in a bad way, but in a reassuring one, like a mother watching over her child. But in the present moment, Alex's light seemed diminished, opaque for some reason, and that worried him to no end.

Not really knowing how to act, Edmund pushed his horse faster, deciding to just give her her space…At least until they were behind closed doors and could talk about everything properly.

The return to Narnia was like a dream to Alex, but it wasn't in her nature to simply enjoy it, because her sixth sense kept her alert, reminding her over and over again that the dream would turn into nightmare soon enough. And as they came face to face with the doors of the palace, she felt that the nightmare was indeed about to begin.

Both, Ninarika and herself found strange that they were almost in front of the doors of Cair Paravel and that these weren't open yet. Word of their return was delivered a long time ago now, so the doors should have been opened already for Edmund and his party to go through.

As they quickly rode the streets of the village surrounding the castle, Alexandra realized how many looks her presence was attracting, which meant that the secret of her return wouldn't be kept a secret for much longer. But the sound of the doors opening occupied her mind completely after a few seconds, and she remembered what was waiting for her inside.

Or _who_.

"_Ready_?" Nina asked.

"_We're not doing this again_." Alex rolled her eyes.

"_Good luck then_."

_**Hello there! I hope you liked this chapter (even though it wasn't as exciting and there's still a lot of secrecy on it) and are liking the story so far...Also, I'd very much like you to tell me what you think, whether it's love or hate and why, which means…Reviews! Please, it'd mean a lot to me and it'd definitely serve as inspiration. I have so many ideas already for this story but if you'd like to give me some theories of what will happen, you're welcome to! Keep checking for new updates! **_


	8. Chapter 8: Out of Line

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

Very different things were going through each of the monarch's heads after the news of Edmund's early return were delivered to the palace.

Lucy and Susan were worried sick, thinking that he had fell ill or was hurt and that's why he had to cancel the rest of the trip. On the other hand, Peter was anxious and concerned too, not really knowing what to think, as the messenger his brother had sent was fed with very little details of the king's return. Nevertheless, he had to admit that as a brother, he had felt a little bit of relief upon hearing the news, it felt so much safer when they were all together in the castle.

Last but not least, was Caspian, who of course shared the same amount of concern over his friend's homecoming, but was also very curious on the reason why he was returning. Knowing Edmund as well as he did, Caspian knew that very few things would actually drive the Just King to return home not only early, but _that early_ in the middle of one of his diplomatic affairs. So whatever happened to be the motive for Edmund's return, it could only be very good or very bad. He hoped it wasn't the latest.

So it was natural to see them all on the main entrance of the Cair that evening, waiting not so patiently for their brother to come through the doors and finally explain what had happened, all praying to the Great Lion for him to be in perfect health.

Finally, the doors opened, making them all stand straighter, like the Kings and Queens that they were. Edmund was the first one to come through, his enormous party right behind him. But immediately after getting that breath of relief to see him alright, what caught their attention was how the entire guard accompanying Edmund in his quest divided in two, leaving a kind of aisle that led to where Ed's horse had stopped, right in front of them.

They were confused for just a second, as a majestic white tigress started walking through it and right by her side was a woman dressing strange clothes on top of a horse. Just then, the explanation they were to ask out of Edmund was standing in front of them, everything concerning his return made perfect sense, but they couldn't believe it.

It was the first time that none of them knew how to react, the four monarchs were frozen in their places with their mouths hanging open.

"Impossible." Susan whispered out of breath, squeezing Caspian's hand, expecting for him to reassure her that it was only a dream.

But it _wasn't_.

Alexandra Hayward was carefully getting off her horse with Edmund's help, and it was needless to say that she was blushing in the process.

After he helped Alex off the horse, Edmund turned toward his guard and dismissed them all, thanking them for their companionship and loyalty and also ordering them (in the most friendly way he could manage) to get some much needed rest. Knight Benjamin Rossendal couldn't help himself but to look back once as he was walking away from the front entrance of the palace. Wishing he could see how this reencounter developed. It was the first time he had the chance to see the sixth Queen upfront and spend some time around her, but he could already tell that she was quite the character. He smiled when Queen Lucy threw herself at the taller girl, giving her one of her infamous tight hugs.

"Alexandra?" The youngest queen had asked without wasting any more time and after getting a small nod from the girl standing next to her brother, she smiled and wasted no time in giving her a huge hug, in part to reassure herself that she was actually there, that it wasn't a twisted illusion.

Needless to say that Alex was panicking every second more, her brain listing the never ending possibilities in which they could find out about her secret and hate her, even if a little part of her heart yelled that they were too understanding and caring to ever come to hate her and that everything would be alright. It was impossible to win this fight with her reeling brain.

Lucy felt her fifth sibling wrap her arms around her lovingly, but only for a few seconds, because as soon as she felt Alexandra return the embrace, she could also feel her strength vanish and soon enough, Alex closed her eyes and fell backwards.

And right into Edmund's arms, who was watching her close enough to recognize all the signals and be prepared to catch her before she was too close to the ground, while Peter got a hold of Lucy.

"Are you okay Lu?" Peter asked and the queen slightly nodded without taking her eyes off Alex.

Susan gasped.

"Is she alright?" The Gentle Queen asked while Edmund re-accommodated Alex's body into his arms, so he could easily carry her. She was lighter than the last time he had done this, and that surely meant something to him, because back then, she was very light.

"She's fine your majesty. It seems that the exhaustion from the long trip and the mix of emotions she has lived through today finally caught up to her." Ninarika said calmly, reminding the monarchs of her presence.

"Of course! We've been terrible to have her standing here for so long, she must be exhausted…And so do you Ed." Susan continued to worry over her younger brother, because physically he was in perfect conditions, but now his emotional status was the one to concern her.

"I'm alright…" He said absentmindedly, his stare never leaving Alexandra.

"Not another word then, let's go inside." Said Caspian locking stares with Susan, he was kind of worried too.

"I'll get someone to arrange a room for her." Said Lucy and while the others nodded their approval, Edmund finally looked at them.

"She's staying with me." He stated simply as he started to walk up the stairs, but with a firmness in his voice that Lucy's previous idea fell down the drain immediately.

The rest of the Narnian monarchs looked at each other knowingly and followed behind the raven haired boy and the tigress who had moved immediately after him.

"_You are the worst_. _Look at how worried they are now_." Ninarika hissed at Alex mentally.

"_I'm sorry, alright? I panicked_."

"_And your best option was to fake fainting_?"

"_What part of 'panicked' didn't you understand_?"

"_Alexandra!"_

"_I'm sorry! What am I supposed to do now?"_

"_As of right now, keep enjoying being in Edmund's arms."_

"_Out of line Ninarika."_

"_You asked."_

If the queen could have rolled her eyes in that moment, she most definitely would have. Alexandra would never understand her guardian's feelings and thoughts about her husband.

**Hello there! I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you can, please give me some feedback to know how you're liking the story or what would you change or add to it. It would mean a lot to me…**

**Can't believe I already got +100 views...Thank you! I hope you keep coming back to check for updates!**

**Also, I wanted your opinion on a trailer for this story, because I kind of got one, but...It may take away some of the mystery of the story. Would you like me to post the link anyway? Let me know! **


	9. Chapter 9: How'd You Know?

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

_Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat_. Alexandra had to keep reminding herself as she felt how Edmund moved throughout the many halls and stairs of the castle with his family and her guardian hot on his heels. She couldn't let their conversation provoke any kind of reaction on her. Of course that didn't mean she wasn't listening, but she was 'passed out' after all.

"So you just got here this morning." Peter questioned who Alex assumed was Ninarika.

"That's right."

"How?" It was now Susan asking.

Alex fought with her muscles not to tense, although she could feel how Nina's mind was completely relaxed. She was definitely expecting this to happen.

"Same way you got here I guess, magic."

"So you think Aslan called you back?" Lucy asked with hope in her voice. She wanted to see the majestic lion again, as he had been away for a long time.

"No." Edmund said before Nina could respond. "Nathan did."

Alex heard how a bunch of steps stopped, none of them had expected to hear her brother involved in her return. He wasn't their favorite either and she couldn't really blame them.

"How is that even possible? He's just…"

"Don't underestimate him High King, Nathan is as special as Alexandra, just…In a different way." Ninarika interrupted Peter.

Now it was Edmund who stopped walking and held onto Alex a little harder.

"Nonsense, don't compare them like that." He sternly said and the brunette, even with her eyes shut tight, could get a clear picture of her guardian rolling her eyes at her husband.

Everyone resumed their walk. Now in complete silence. They were processing the new information given by both Edmund and the tigress. A million questions were arising in their brains, but they were reasonable enough to understand that it wasn't the right time to start asking. Besides, the only two who could answer their doubts were the tigress and the passed out queen, and they were very much sure that the first one wouldn't talk without her mistress consent, and it wasn't proper for them as Kings and Queens to harass her anyway.

Alex realized they had arrived to what she assumed was Edmund's room because there was a slight temperature change, it was a little bit warmer now.

"_Enjoy the ride?"_

"_Oh shut up."_

A few seconds after the temperature changed Alex was delicately positioned on top of a soft bed and Edmund's signature essence engulfed her, making her feel quite dizzy. She could feel everyone's eyes on her and sincerely thought in opening her eyes to reassure them she was just fine. But if she did, then she would most definitely get no rest that night, as they would keep her up asking every question they could think of.

Their intentions weren't bad, but patience wasn't exactly their strongest feature and she was truly exhausted.

"You must be really tired Ed, we can stay with her while you take a bath and eat something." Susan offered, but she could see that her brother wouldn't move an inch away from his wife unless it was absolutely necessary.

"I'm fine." He simply answered and Sue sighed looking at Peter, who nodded understandingly and cleared his throat.

"Ed. You're my brother and I love you, but you are in desperate need of a bath and some food wouldn't do you any harm." He tried to reason with his brother, who immediately could feel the soft but serious tone he used, he wasn't suggesting anything, he was requesting.

The Just King simply sighed knowing that his siblings meant well and that he shouldn't be so difficult all the time. He turned to see Alex's sleeping figure once again. He wouldn't admit it, but he had waited so long for this moment to happen, always so uncertain, that now it was finally here he was afraid that if he turned around for a little bit it would all disappear. The thing was, that he didn't have to admit it to the rest for them to realize what was happening, they knew him too well.

Lucy put a hand on his shoulder and smiled at him when he turned to see her.

"We'll be here."

"She'll probably be passed out until tomorrow your majesty, trust me." Ninarika commented and Alex mentally face palmed. Wrong choice of words.

"How reassuring...If I recall, last time I trusted you everything went so well."

Ninarika had the impulse to bare her teeth and defend herself from such venomous stare and accusations.

"_Nina please. He's just upset."_

"_Well he shouldn't be so rude."_

"_It's Edmund Ni, we both know he doesn't think things through when he's mad. Please don't make it worse."_

Nina struggled with her desires for about a second, then she simply turned and went to lay on the floor, right next to Alexandra.

Lucy and Susan released a breath they didn't even know they were holding. This was something that they definitely didn't miss. For some unknown reason, Edmund and Ninarika had never gotten along very well, something very conflicting to them all, especially for Alexandra. She always got stuck in the middle of their pointless arguments.

"_I won't ever get tired of asking you this, probably because I find it very hard to understand. How in hell did you agree to marry that prick?"_

"_Nina please, he's not a prick, right now he's just hurt."_

"_Don't make up excuses for him."_

"_I'm not, we both know I would be the exact same way if something like this happened to me. He's looking for someone to blame."_

"_Well that's not fair at all."_

"_I'm sorry, you're right."_

A moment of silence passed between them.

"_You still think he's a prick don't you?"_

"_Most definitely, yes."_

After a few moments the three kings left the room together, leaving only the Pevensie girls, Alex and Nina.

"You can open your eyes now. They're gone." Susan said simply and Alex felt the need to frown. Both Lucy and the older queen sat on the foot of the bed.

_How did she know?_

"Alex, please." Lucy said, and as always, the queen couldn't refuse to the now not so little girl's command.

Her blue eyes opened and she slowly sat up in the bed sighing.

"How'd you know?" She asked.

The sisters just looked at each other and smiled knowingly.

"Well…Apart from knowing you so well my dear friend, it was obvious when Ninarika here 'decided' to keep her thoughts to herself and not keep fighting with Edmund. She only does that when you ask her to." Lucy explained.

"True." Alex and Susan agreed.

"Not true." Ninarika said at the same time with a scowl in her face.

"How come they didn't realize though?"

"Well Alex, that has a much simpler answer…" Susan said with a huge smile on her face. "They're men."

"_Definitely true_." All four of them said and then shared a short laugh.

Alexandra loved having Nina around, she was undoubtedly her best friend, but she couldn't deny to have missed the Pevensie sisters a lot. The bond they had formed through time was marvelous. They were her sisters too.

**Sorry! I promise it'll get exciting very very soon! These chapters have been a simple background on Alexandra and her personality. The real adventure is about to begin **


	10. Chapter 10: Stop Being Selfish?

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

The three women had been talking for the last half hour when Nina heard steps approaching quickly.

"They're coming." She said looking directly at Alex who sighed.

"If you want to keep resting that's fine, honestly." Susan put a hand on the queen's shoulder in a reassuring way.

Decisions, decisions.

She was very tired, yes. But it was certainly refreshing to talk to her friends, it almost felt as if she had never left. It was so uncomplicated, she didn't feel judged, not for one moment. She even had thought about their reactions when she told them the truth, and the picture she got this time, in contrast to all the other times, was so good she felt like crying.

Maybe she was so scared to tell them everything and thought they would hate her simply because she had spent so much time apart from them that she couldn't really remember how caring and loving they truly were. _Maybe they'd understand_.

There was a soft knock on the door, but the two Pevensie queens didn't say a word until Alex nodded approvingly.

She owed not only them, but herself, to at least face them.

"Come on in." The oldest of the three said, moving her stare slightly from Alex to the door.

The wooden door slowly opened to reveal the three men that had left a little while ago. Alex noticed Edmund had changed his clothes. When they noticed that she was awake they rushed inside like little kids, making the lost queen smile.

_Boys will be boys_.

"It's good to see you guys too." Alexandra chuckled.

"How are you feeling?" Caspian beat Edmund to ask her that question.

"A little more rested, thank you. And I'm sorry for frightening you all before." She apologized looking at each of them briefly. Her eyes settled on Edmund, who was shamelessly looking right back at her.

He still couldn't believe his eyes. She was even more gorgeous than he allowed himself to remember.

"We're just glad you're okay Alex, and that you're back." Peter said in his usual brotherly voice.

"Oh dear, we haven't yet cared about food for you, I'll go get someone right away." Susan said worriedly and Alexandra couldn't stop herself from half smiling at her motherly instinct.

"It's okay Sue, I'm not hungry right now." She said.

"You haven't eaten since Aslan knows when, food is necessary." Edmund nodded at his sister to continue her way while he said these words.

"But…"Alexandra tried to protest.

Key word. _Tried._

All Edmund had to do was look at her for her to shut her mouth.

"Fine, but I can go get it myself, I'm not physically impaired." Alex said. If she was going to comply, it would be in her own terms.

"Alright, I felt like a snack anyway." Lucy shrugged said and both, Alex and she smiled. She was too cute for her own good.

"Need any help getting up?" Nina asked eying Alex carefully, it was all for show, but the guys didn't know that.

"No no, I'm fine, thank you." She said getting Nina's intention and slowly stood up.

Soon enough, the whole group was walking towards the dining hall. They had crossed roads with a servant who Susan had sent directly to the kitchens to deliver the order to have food done for both, Alex and Lucy. Ignoring Alexandra's protests on how she could make her own food.

"Alex." Lucy called for the attention of the older queen. "I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Yes?" The brunette encouraged her.

"Where did you get your dress? It's beautiful!" She exclaimed smiling. But she got a different reaction than she expected.

Alexandra stopped walking and her breath seemed as if it was knocked out of her.

Lucy's smile vanished.

"Alex? Are you alright?"

But the brunette, who had managed until that very moment to maintain those thoughts that could bring her to the top of the world one moment and drag her to hell the next instant, buried in the back of her brain, didn't know what to say.

Ninarika could feel her mistress's thoughts spiral out of control. She was losing her composure.

"_Alex. Don't. Not right now. Not in front of them." _The tigress tried to calm her friend down. It seemed like the first meltdown she had but if it was going to be exactly as the ones she used to have back on earth when Edmund's name was even mentioned, then nothing good could come out of it.

Alexandra fought with the images that haunted her mercilessly, what had been a blissful day now it turned to be the biggest of her nightmares. But it was _her_ _secret_, she couldn't let them know, they weren't ready, _she wasn't ready_. She had to compose herself and keep her façade up, it was for the best.

"I'm fine Lu, just a little out of breath." She lied through her teeth, trying to diminish the impact of her little episode. But none of them had any of it, they all had stopped and were intently looking at her. "I-I, my best friend on earth is a designer, he made this dress especially for me."

"He?" Caspian asked surprised, making Alex smile forcefully.

"Yes." She said and started walking again. All of them hot on her heels, but this time no one besides her.

"_You know the way right?" _She asked Nina mentally.

"_Absolutely. I'm proud of you, you know?"_

"_You shouldn't be. I'm nothing but a liar." Alexandra said drily._

"_Alex…"_

"_Let's just get this over with._"

To say that the tigress was worried was an understatement. Alexandra was the strongest person she had ever met, she took the hardest decisions and stuck by them no matter what and the tigress admired that to no end. But she hated how it made her so miserable all the time. Even if she made an effort to hide it, for their sake, Nina was her best friend, she knew right away.

Edmund on his part, also knew something was very wrong with his wife. He hated feeling at a disadvantage to Ninarika. He should've been by her side all of these years, they had promised each other that. He thought and thought about it, but at the end of the day, he couldn't understand what could have possibly changed.

Finally they made it to the dining hall, in silence, they sat, and in very few seconds their food arrived, although it was needless to say that Alexandra didn't feel hungry anymore, not at all.

She managed to eat up a whole apple, after a lot of effort. But the images kept her too distracted, enough to not notice how all of their eyes were once more on her, as if she was an animal in a zoo. Not for a little while though.

After she realized how they were looking at her, pretty much with a question sign in their stares, the queen figured out a way to get out of eating anything else. Something that would definitely distract them all, or so she hoped.

Alexandra sighed and looked up, arching one of her eyebrows in a chastising way to the rest who were looking at her way too intently.

"This is going to be awkward no matter what we do, we might disagree, yell at each other and why not, end up with a few slaps. So why don't we start already?"

"Alex..." Susan tried to reassure her that it wouldn't be that way, but she didn't even know that herself, as none of them was certain of what would the explanation that came out of her mouth consist of.

"No Sue, just start asking." She insisted and reclined back a little, this would no doubt be a long night, she might as well get comfortable.

Peter signaled the servants to leave them alone immediately, whatever was they were going to find out on Alex's disappearance, it was meant for their ears only.

"Where have you been all this time?" He was the first to ask, knowing that his question was kind of dumb, as they knew that information already, he was just making sure.

"We were on Earth."

"How long has it been there?"

"About five years." She answered calmly and they looked at each other, quite surprised. Alex frowned, a question of her own arising. "How long has it been _here_ since I…"

"Five years too." Caspian answered.

Now Alex was the one surprised. Nathan had mentioned something about five years, but she thought he had been talking about her time on earth, not time in general. She looked at Nina briefly and then back at them.

"How was Nathan involved in your return?" Caspian was up next.

"I'm not quite sure yet, but we believe that he used his magic mixed up with someone else's to bring us back."

"What was he looking for?" Susan inquired.

"We aren't sure." Alex said, looking at Nina briefly again.

'_She's lying_.' They all thought.

"How did you manage to leave?" Lucy asked innocently. "I thought only Aslan could make that happen."

Alex breathed in deeply, positioning her eyes on Edmund. He would be hurt by this next explanation, she knew it. As she also knew what question would follow up.

"My magic at that moment was on its strongest moment. I managed to open a door between this world and our own."

"Why?" Edmund asked and Alex closed her eyes tightly. This was exactly where the screaming would begin.

"I can't…I can't talk about it yet." She said surprising them all.

She was denying them the truth they deserved.

"Excuse me?" Edmund said.

"I'm sorry." She said looking at him and reflected in her eyes he could see her determination.

"I can't believe you!" He raised his voice. "We've been worried sick for you all this time, we at least deserve this!"

"I know you do." She sighed. "But I just can't do it."

"Why? What's so bad that you can't tell us? That you can't tell me?" He kept yelling.

Alexandra just shook her head.

"I'm truly sorry." She said getting up from her seat and attempting to walk away, although a part of her wanted to simply tell them everything, let them help her with the burden the secret weighed upon her.

"Don't walk away from this." She felt her wrist being grabbed from behind. Nina bared her teeth.

"Ed, please, I'm asking you for some space, try to understand." She tried to reason with him.

"NO! _YOU_ try to understand." He said desperately. His other siblings felt awkward, this was their moment, and as much as their curiosity was eating them alive, they thought of leaving them to it, eventually deciding against it to stay and monitor Edmund's increasing temper. "You left me alone! After you promised we'd be together forever, you left, without telling me why. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep. I couldn't believe you were gone Alexandra!"

Edmund still didn't let go of her. So he immediately noticed how her hand turned into fists, her knuckles white.

"Edmund."

"You promised…How could you be so selfish?!" He raised his voice again.

"STOP!" She yelled now, fully turning around and prying his fingers off of her wrist. He was impressed with her strength, she had always been strong, but gentle. That day she wasn't.

"What? Did I hit a soft spot? Is it true?" He insisted, thinking he could crack her cover by applying a little pressure.

She was looking towards the floor, but when she heard his words her head snapped up, surprising them all when they saw all the tears running down her face.

"I said stop. You don't get to accuse me of anything Edmund Pevensie, as I already told you; _you know nothing_." She said sternly, pointing at him with her index finger, but the feature that most struck him was to see how her eyes changed its characteristic color while she spoke her sentence.

After that, and it was difficult to the Kings and Queens to say exactly when, Alexandra and Ninarika abandoned the room, leaving a petrified Edmund staring at the door.

"Ed! Are you alright?" Lucy ran to his side, but he still couldn't move from his spot. He was too shocked.

'_Her eyes…_' He thought, a million theories rushing around his brain. He was looking for a logical explanation for what he had just seen, but none seemed to fit properly. _'They were _**_black_**_..._'


	11. Chapter 11: It's Queen Alexandra to You

**Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis, not me or am I making any profit with this story. I only own Alexandra and her friends/family or any other character you don't recognize.**

_Balance_. Alexandra thought to herself. _That's all that I need_. She repeated as she sat in the traditional lotus position inhaling and exhaling every few seconds. Since she had returned to earth, yoga had become the perfect way to learn how to maintain her thoughts and emotions in a peaceful equilibrium.

She could've gone away five years ago, but she remembered her way around the castle as if she walked across its halls every day. That's why Alex had no problem in finding her old hideaway in a matter of minutes. Both Nina and she had taken refuge there since the whole encounter a little more than five hours ago. It was morning time now. She had been meditating all that time.

"This is getting insufferable Alex." Ninarika commented, she had always hated feeling caged, and although it was a pretty decent sized room the one they were in at the moment, she was starting to feel claustrophobic.

The queen took another deep breath before answering.

"I told you Nina, you are free to go whenever you wish to. I think I need more time to relax." She said in her calmest tone, without opening her eyes.

The tigress almost groaned.

"Alex, I understand where you're coming from. You want to make sure you're calm enough to endure another encounter with his 'royal-pain-in-the-ass', but it's been a while now, I think you're fine."

"Being extra careful never harmed anyone." Alexandra tried to win the argument with her guardian, but deep inside she knew the tigress was right.

"There's people who'd say otherwise. Come on, let's get out of here."

"But Nina…"

"I'm not saying you have to go back to see them right as we get out of here, but come on, hiding in the storage room of the library of the castle for more than two hours? Give me a break." Ninarika insisted.

"Fine." The queen sighed, rechecking all her thoughts once more, making sure they were stable, calm and properly controlled. She couldn't allow herself to lose all composure as she had hours before, much less with her family around.

If she could have, Nina would have definitely applauded the queen's final decision. She did hate being in closed spaces, but after all, she was considered a wild animal.

The brunette stood up and was walking down the stairs of the little storage room into the library when she heard hushed voices.

"But my King!" The first one was a female, or so she could hear.

"This shall not be mentioned again Lady Cassandra. Now may I please be left alone? I was looking for someone." Edmund said sternly but with a hint of worry and nervousness in his voice.

"_Who on earth is this Lady Cassandra_?" Alex wondered to herself with her brow deeply furrowed. "_And why does Edmund seem so nervous in her presence_?"

"I don't think it's fair to pretend like it never happened your majesty. One cannot cheat the heart after all."

Alexandra had managed to silently sneak closer to the couple talking and had a clear view of how the blonde stepped closer to Edmund and slid her hands up her husband tunic, later on grabbing onto his collar. She saw his every muscle tense, his eyes wondering everywhere, but then he relaxed slightly.

"_No way._" Ninarika thought, not believing her eyes at all and thinking on how bad would this all end if what they were witnessing was indeed what it looked like.

"YOUR MAJESTY!" Someone barged inside the library, making Alexandra, still in a zombie state, retreat behind one of the shelves.

"_This can't be true_." Alexandra whispered to her insides.

The servant cleared his throat embarrassedly when he noticed the scene developing in front of his eyes. "My apologies your majesty, my lady." He bowed slightly to both of them and then concentrated on Edmund again. "My king, High King Peter requests your presence immediately."

"I'm in the middle of something Aaron…" He said and then his cheeks turned bright pink when he realized what the guard must have understood by that.

Aaron, although surprised by the Just King's answer, insisted as he had been asked to do so.

"He said it was an urgent matter." The guard insisted. Edmund sighed and Cassandra rolled her eyes impatiently.

"Did he elaborate?" He asked.

"No my king, I only know he was requesting all the other monarchs' presence as well, and that the guard brought a prisoner earlier." The guard spilled what he knew and although he said no names, the fact that there was a newly found prisoner caught the queen's attention. Distracting her from drowning in her dark thoughts about the other woman in the room and her husband's involvement.

"I'll go right away…Thank you Aaron." Edmund said.

The human guard just nodded and when he was turning to leave the room, his attention was called again.

"Yes your majesty?" He asked.

"You didn't see any of this." He pointed towards Lady Cassandra an then himself.

Aaron just nodded quite stiffly and finally left to return to his duties. Everyone in the castle knew who Lady Cassandra was, but that didn't mean they liked her at all.

"_We must leave now. I need to know who this prisoner is_." Alex thought looking straight at her guardian with an indecipherable expression. She was hurting. And deeply. The tigress just nodded and they silently snuck out of the room towards the dungeons, praying not to run into anyone.

Alexandra wanted to cheat her heart by trying to focus on whether she'd know the new prisoner or not, but the absolute truth was that she couldn't get the image of Edmund and the blonde out of her head, and at the same time, it hurt like hell to think about it.

They made a record time to get to the dungeons, and thankfully, they were unnoticed the whole time. But it wasn't hard to recognize there wasn't anyone important in the cells when they got there, it was too quiet and there were no special quantity of guards.

"Dammit!" Alexandra hissed. "_They must've taken him to the throne room already_." She thought.

"Then let's not waste any more time." Ninarika said kneeling and soon they were running through the halls of the castle towards the throne room.

…

Meanwhile, Peter, Susan, Lucy, and Caspian were waiting not so patiently for Edmund to get to the room so they could start discussing the situation at hand. They tried looking for Alex too, as she was another legitimate monarch who also had a say in what was going on, but they knew that when Alexandra didn't want to be found, she wasn't.

Finally, the last king slipped through the door muttering a quick apology.

"Did you find her?" Caspian silently asked, but the raven haired king just shook his head and sighed.

"No, I found Lady Cassandra instead." Edmund said and Caspian almost shivered. She wasn't a very likeable person. But she was definitely smitten with the Just King.

"Pete." Lucy called for his attention. "We're all here, what's going on?" She asked impatiently.

The High King sighed and signaled some guards who left immediately after.

"Our guard has captured another foreign in Narnian lands." He simply said and the tension could be felt immediately in the air. Newcomers were very rarely linked to good news.

"Calormen?" Caspian asked.

Peter shook his head.

"From Archeland?" Lucy tried.

"Earth." Susan concluded and the oldest Pevensie nodded as the doors were opened and a bunch of guards stepped in, a single human walking in the middle of them.

Peter gave the signal for them to step aside and just then they saw a boy, must have been Edmund's same age, with dirty blonde hair and terrified electrical green eyes. The poor thing was chained and his clothes were somewhat stained with mud and grass.

"What is your name? And what would be your purpose here in Narnia?" Peter said all kingly and Lucy scolded him shortly.

"Are you okay? Do you know where you are?" She asked more softly. "We won't do you any harm." She smiled to try to ease his horrified expression.

Narnia was a lot to take in. They would know.

"I-I'm fine." He stuttered, the poor blonde didn't understand what was going on at all, just that when he woke up, he was next to a breathtaking beach in his not so beige anymore suit, and soon after, some strange creatures had brought him to the castle and claimed to be in some place called Narnia.

"What is your name? Where are you from? Do you remember?" Susan gracefully tried to get him to talk a little more.

"I'm from London, England…But I was living in New York City." He said trying to recall what had happened in the last 20 hours.

"And your name?" Edmund insisted, it was the only question he hadn't answered.

"My-My name is…"

"Robert Castille." Alexandra said using a random column in the hall as support for most of her weight.

The blonde snapped his head in her direction and when he recognized it was her, his eyes shone with happiness and excitement. Edmund hated it.

"Lexi?" He asked hopeful and the sixth queen had to smile at him her best smile.

"Are you alright?" She asked kneeling next to him to check for any kind of injuries.

"I-I am! How are you? What are you wearing? Where are we?" He started questioning her, the shock of seeing her dying down.

"It's okay Rob, I'm fine, this is a typical narnian gown and well…That's where we are right now, Narnia." She tried to explain to him, but the confusion in his eyes was more than evident.

Peter cleared his throat, bursting the little bubble of happiness between the queen and her friend.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Robert, these are the monarchs of Narnia, High King Peter, King Caspian and King Edmund, and Queen Lucy and Queen Susan." She said pointing at each one of them slowly, so he'd remember who was who. "Guys, this is Rob, my…Friend." She hesitated after seeing Edmund's annoyed face and remembering what had happened a few moments ago in the library.

"Any friend of a Queen of Narnia is a friend of Narnia." Caspian said and signaled the guards to release Robert from his chains.

The blonde looked at his friend with a curious gaze.

"Lexi? You? Queen?" He tried to ask but didn't really know how to.

"It's Queen Alexandra to you." Edmund said sternly, making Alex roll her eyes internally.

"We need to talk about quite a couple of things." She said with a small smile.

But right then, Robert's expression changed drastically to a serious one, making Alexandra's heart speed up immediately while she snuck a quick look towards her guardian.

"My _sister_ has a message for you." He said right into her eyes.

Alex's breath was cut short while she prayed to the Great Lion that the message was one filled with hope, and not with despair.


End file.
